“You see, the thing about first time periods is this- As a female, your own experience will always be unique to you.”
This article came about after a conversation I had on twitter with another female, regarding our very first time of having a period and the awkwardness surrounding dealing with the difficulty in talking about this subject. I feel there just isn’t enough out there in terms of ‘First time periods’ discussions. I believe it is needed for future generations of young females who are going to be experiencing their first period.
I felt that I needed to reach out and write about this subject that really isn’t spoken about that much and should be. I feel that periods seem to have some form of secrecy and shame to them. I believe it is so important to at least give some thought into this process that females go through, by telling the story about my first period. As a mother to a ten year old daughter, I felt that talking about periods is much needed for her and also for those young females out there who may not have that person in their life to talk to. I hope that they will be able to just click on this article and see that they are NOT alone in these difficulties.
For the adult females out there who might be reading this, I just wanted to say, we too as women, are NOT alone – we go through monthly change in our bodies and it is OK.
We all as females, should not feel ashamed about this process our bodies go through because it is a part of our Womanhood. It is what makes us unique and special. Each and every one of us!
My First period - The unexpected moment
I was twelve years old when I first started my period, it was by far one of the most scariest and shocking moments of my life. I was in my first year in boarding school situated in Surrey and many miles away from home. I was a full time boarder and therefore only went home every other weekend. I spent many weeks away from my mother and sister, which was very hard at times. I often spent quite a number of days very homesick.
So you may understand the shock I felt when out of nowhere my period suddenly happened unexpectedly and without the support from my mother, who was not by my side. It was also a shock as my older sister who was two and a half years older than me had not started her period yet. So, not only did I not have my mother for support, I also did not have my sister either to help me through the process.
Now you may think that being in a boarding school with a house full of girls would have helped – BUT... that certainly, was not the case. As even us girls have problems talking to one another from time to time. We can every now and again, struggle to talk about personal things with each other - especially on the subject of our own bodies!
My period made its appearance at my lunch break during school hours- I was spending time with my two best friends (Day pupils) in the locker room which was near the toilets in my boarding house. We were mucking around as we used to do, when suddenly I felt an achy feeling in my stomach, so I decided to go to the toilet thinking it was...well you know...an upset stomach! When suddenly and without warning, I saw dark thick red blood before me and gosh was it heavy!
In that moment, I remember being in absolute distress - not knowing what to do, as I didn't have anything on me as in Pads or Tampons to help ease the blood flow. I mean why would I? After all – and to my knowledge, I wasn't expecting such an event to happen so soon. Being twelve, I didn't even contemplate this situation happening until I was at least a teenager. Even though, as research shows, periods have been known to start as early as seven years old! Which is shockingly young! But I did not know this fact back then, so my twelve year old start was viewed as very young in my eyes.
The first thing I did when I saw the blood was to call one of my best friends, who quickly rushed into the toilets as I sat there, unable to move due to the situation. She had no idea why I called her so loudly and then.... I told her what had just happened. I had no clue how she would take it - due to being totally embarrassed. Now, warning in advance, the part that is not spoken about is this - periods can be very messy, they can, at times, leak through clothing! Yes Folks….this is the part that seems to be left out when talking about ‘First time periods’ – because let’s face it…it isn’t the most flattering part!….BUT either way, it is the truth of the matter - that by being so unaware of this situation that was not pre-warned…these things will and do occur…however gory the details are!
for me and to my sheer utter surprise, my best friend came to the rescue and told me that she had started her period a year before and was currently in her mid-cycle. PHEW… I thought, I wasn’t alone. She kindly offered me one of her spare pads to use and my god the relief I felt when I knew that I wouldn't be trapped inside the toilets, while help would be called in the form of my head mistress of the house.
After I came out of the toilet, I called my mother on my mobile. At this point, I was experiencing the left over panic and was shaking badly. My mother was also shocked that I had started my period but she still managed to calm me down and reassured me that all was going to be OK - Despite my mother's words... I didn’t feel reassured, all I wanted was for her to be there with me. To cuddle me during this process...the beginning of my periods.
This first experience never left me, looking back now I’m 30 years old, I wonder what could have been done differently to help with the shock I felt. How could I have been best supported prior to this unexpected moment? And most importantly, how can other young females be best supported through this process of ‘First time periods’. (To read more on this please check out my other article called – “Periods: Important questions about the unexpected moment’ - Part 2”)
If I could say something to my younger self, the nearly teenager I was back then, I would say this:-
“Don't be scared of this process, all will be OK”
So for those of you out there that haven't had a period yet, this experience of ‘First time periods’ is a perfectly normal process that we females go through. Even if it is something barely spoken about. And however unpleasant it appears to be, you will be OK! So don't worry, just like me, you will get through this, one cycle at a time, I promise! If there was one thing I want you to take from this article, it would be that – Your first time period will always be unique to you! And it is not something that you should never be ashamed of. As it is part of being the strong female you are!