Why talking about periods is so important
In my first blog on ‘Periods: the unexpected moment’ - Part 1’, I spoke about my first experience of having a period. In writing about this subject, I wanted to challenge certain negative views on periods such as the notion that one must feel ashamed of their periods or that they must be kept a secret.
I also hope that by sharing my first time experience– it has shed some much needed light about the importance of hearing a story all about the process of becoming a woman. I hope that my story will be a shared one, and thereby relate-able and enable other females to feel more comfortable in sharing their own first time period stories with one another.
It baffles me as I have seen, that this shame surrounding periods exists in 2019.
There is still this cloudy grey area that hovers over this subject, despite so many females who experience menstruation. By now I would accept a more welcome view by society - Because - let’s face it… periods are indeed a big part of how we all came into this world. After all, without them, none of us would be here! I know I certainly wouldn’t be typing on my laptop if it wasn’t for my mother’s menstrual cycle!
In this blog, I wanted to speak about the stereotype of females who are going through their periods, and how ‘the time of the month’ can be easily misused for negative purposes. As a woman myself and a mother to a 10 year old daughter, it is so immensely important to bring these points to the surface and to pave the way to some change around the views on periods.
I hope that those who read this can either relate to this subject of 'Periods' meaning they have them, or truly, for anyone who would like to learn a little more from a different perspective – My own.
On the subject of PMS: Symptoms Vs Stereotype
From a woman’s perspective
PMS: - A word that at times has made me cringe. It is, if you’re like me and get period cramps and headaches, making sure you have your pain relief to hand when you need it. It can also be about going through the mood swings which can cause a women to feel under the weather for the time that she is going through her cycle. It can be both physical and psychological symptoms that come to the surface.
Debating the word ‘PMS’:- One thing I would like to address with the word and to further explain my cringe of it. Is over the course of many years, the word PMS has sadly been misused both by men and women at times, and as a way to get back at someone who is going through that time of the month. This has been known to happen when an argument arises, or when it has been used as a very bad joke. Which to be quite frank, is not the type of funny that would ever have a women in fits of laughter!
I can guarantee that quite a huge majority of women out there can agree that these issues have at some point been one of their experiences in their life. It is even weirder that this word can even be used when a women is not even on her period! Which can be just as offensive.
In fact PMS has been widely associated with ONLY ONE of the symptoms caused by periods - and that is as discussed... the change in mood swings!
The truth of it is this, all could be going OK in the day but then one thing happens wrong or not according to plan and then suddenly you could be crying or immensely angry at the slightest thing! It is in these moments that can be the hardest to deal with. But rest assure there are many different ways to help with this. One main thing that help if symptoms do not go away is to speak to your doctor and they will help to resolve this.
But the extent on this stereotype of PMS has but a shadow over truth, which is that not every women will experience this symptom of mood changes in the same way. Some milder than others. And to be fair on us women, it is a hormonal problem…and is not an overreaction…or a way to get attention from others…it is how it is understood – a part of the period, so for those that use this stereotype, please give us women a break!
Now, not every female will experience PMS symptoms - some may feel like their normal selves and are able to go about their daily life like nothing much has changed. BUT to be honest, I have found that every month for the first two or even three days - I have certainly felt that shift in my mood from what was prior to the process of my menstrual cycle. But luckily for me it is not so much of an issue that I can't carry out the tasks that I need to!
Food for thought: Periods - On the subject of School and Home
Thinking about ‘First time periods’ and items - would a person carry a swimming costume around if they thought they weren't going swimming?
…Answer is…mostly a no!
And so, truthfully, if one does not expect it to happen, then why would they have the item on them? And for this reason, I am here to say that inevitably unexpected things will happen... the unprepared moment with no supplies at hand. But just as I would say to any female in this situation, this is perfectly normal! – No matter how grim.
When I started puberty, I certainly wasn't told to bring sanitary pads around with me. Not even my mother told me to carry pads around in my bag for the - ' Just in case scenario' to happen. Now that's not saying that my mum should have told me to always do this or that teachers should be told to say this BUT it would be nice, in my opinion, to feel prepared as much as one can be - for this big moment to arrive.
Question 1: - “Are teenagers being taught enough about the female period in the subject of PSHE and biology? Both the physical and emotional side of it?
Answer is... I very much doubt it. And so, it is then clear that not enough is done to support young females through this life changing experience.
Question 2:- “Are parents educating their children enough on this subject of starting periods? And the 'What to do if it happens' especially at school when they are not around.”
Answer is…. Yes and No – there are some parents who are really doing their best to educate their daughters on periods which is so good and encouraging. I for one as a mother to a daughter who is ten, have had a few talks about the subjects of periods – after all, she will one day be going through her ‘First Period’ - but still , I feel that a lot more needs to be done with supporting parents and teachers through educating children about this subject.
It is then worrying that - young females may not know what to do in these situations or even what to expect when having their first periods. It really would be anxiety provoking and cause more distress when the unexpected happens….if not educated enough… (As it was for me when it was my time).
Another thought is – “Should young females who haven't started their period carry Pads or Tampons around for the ‘Just in case scenario?’ And if so, when do they start to do this?”
Would this be beneficial? And would it be helpful to implement from the get go of either pre-teen or in teenage years? Or do the younger females wait until they feel a change in their bodies? As in, when the aches and pains emerge?
BUT quite like myself when I started my first period, I didn't even know it was going to happen. Some may experience symptoms of a period about to come, while others may not. Therefore this would be rather hard to predict as I learnt when my symptoms came at the moment I bled and with no real warning!
So would those who are just about to start their period notice the first signs? - Or would they put it down to what I put it down as - an upset stomach? Either way - I just don't feel that there are enough discussions about this subject of 'Periods' in general. OR the….
"What to do list?" - Or "when to prepare?"
There was also talk about young people having 'Period parties' on the programme “This Morning" a few weeks ago - The people being interviewed disagreed with the subject of celebrating a females first period with a party. They said that periods were beginning to become commercialised and that this was just another market that didn't need to exist. They also stated that this big day should be with family only.
To be honest, I agree with the not having the period parties commercialised, as yes, it would definitely mean more money spent and it may lose its importance of this very life changing event. I also understand the disagreement of ‘period parties’- as pads, tampons, menstrual cups and so on - cost a lot of money. Especially with all the different strengths of pads or tampons...YES readers…as you may know they all come in different stages of cycle bleeds and even sizes! So, it is evident then that parties would just add to the stress of costs on these already pricey products!
But on the subject of celebration: I do think more families and even friends should celebrate together ‘first periods’ when they happen. It shouldn't be something that is secret and it certainly shouldn't be something to be embarrassed over with other females or males. I don't think there is enough acknowledgement about the difficulties surrounding this part of being a female. Therefore a celebration for a females ‘First time’ should be put in place for each and every girl.